Be yourself. Be authentic
How to reach positive self esteem to children:
Teaching children positive self concept is hard. Building their self esteem is crucial during their childhood years. When they are young they are forming an image of who they are and what they can accomplish. They are absorbing everything, you as a parents says and does.
Many times we may see a child without positive self esteem and see that the parent is lacking it as well. As a mentor, parent or teacher know that the way you accept yourself will impact your child. The awareness now that you can help form your child destiny should propel you to watch what you say and do.
When children see that you copy others and mimic their thoughts and ideas without letting your thoughts and feelings come in to play teaches something important to children.
You have no value.
You do not have the strength to be yourself and prefer to be someone else.
You do not value who you are and what you have to offer.
You value other’s opinions over yours.
Other’s opinions must be valued and taken into consideration, but not at the expense of your health or well being! The concern here is when one completely ignores their own thoughts and feelings in place for others.
How a mom can impact their child’s value:
Let us say Joshua’s mom sends him to piano lessons because her friends think it is a great idea. Joshua prefers joining a little league yet his mom insists that piano lessons it is.
She honestly does not care to send him to play ball but if her friends are sending their children for piano lessons that that must be the thing to do.
She is not listening to Joshua’s want to join little league. This sends a message to Joshua that his mom does not care about his needs. He is not worth listening to. In others words he is not worth much. It is no wonder that his self esteem would diminish. If this occurs on a daily basis there won’t be much self esteem left when he grows older.
Allowing yourself to express your needs and showing what you have to offer makes a wold of a difference.
People are unique and the only wonder they hold is that they are different.
Giving children the importance and the acknowledgement of their gifts, talents and uniqueness will go a long way in promoting their self esteem.
Teaching children that they should not copy others is hard. It starts with he framework that they know to appreciate themselves and what they can do.
How to teach children to appreciate themselves and build their self esteem:
- have them create their own art work, I want to see your masterpiece not a copy of your friends
- when children complete a project do not expect perfection compliment their own creativity and determination
- allow children to express themselves creatively
- work together to find their strengths and talents
- compliment and praise when they are doing something right
Value yourself
No one can be quite like you, because they are not you. Knowing that you make a difference makes all of the difference to your self esteem. Children need to know there is no one like them and no one can replace them and therefore they need to be themselves.
We want them! Not another Joshua, Rachel or Karen.
When children are taught to appreciate themselves, their self esteem will be intact and they will be open to receiving and giving to others.
They know they are worth something and can make a difference to others. It may start with some positive comments and lead to sharing their gifts and talents with others.
You may hear one say to another-
“Oh you need help drawing?, here I can do it for you.”
Knowing it is OK that their friend has other talents and does not take away from their value, they got other stuff to share. We share what we can and give what we can.
These skills are integral to be able to make and keep friends and eventually for the workforce. Team building skills go far in employee retention and promotion. Bosses and employers want to see others sharing and caring while acknowledging what they can do.
Teachers find it extremely helpful in the classroom. When students know their strengths and willing to share it with others.
Yes, knowing your value helps build your self esteem. Which in essence helps you give to others and not be afraid to take from others when necessary, because you know you got something else.
Authenticity
Being authentic is being real. You are who you are.
Trying to pretend to be someone else just diminishes your value. Remember there is no other person like you and when you try to be like others than you are not yourself.
Being like others is like counterfeit money. May look and feel almost the same but worth nothing.
A real $5 dollar bill is better than a $500 counterfeit bill.
Authenticity for children is important. Allow them to share their thoughts and feeling, help them know that you will not change your mind about them and love them the way they are.
People have a hard time being authentic for they are afraid they will not be accepted for who they are. Once a person is certain of their value they would be willing to let their guard down and show the world their true beauty.
Show the world who you are:
I had a child in a class once that was afraid to laugh out loud. Her family has an unspoken rule that loud laughter is inappropriate. Now, we understand that to a certain degree, it depends. There are many different kinds of laughter and laughter is important!
Loud, raucous laughter is not OK, yet chuckles of glee is what we all want to hear.
Whenever the teacher announced an exciting change to the schedule the class clapped and laughed with excitement. This one child refused to acknowledge the change deeming that it is immature.
One day this particular child had been playing with another child in the block center building homes and placing the people around the home. Rachel, our quiet girl who was afraid to express strong emotions was busy setting up some blocks. Suddenly her friend Lea, popped a block person through an opening in the blocks saying a nice loud “peek a boo”. Rachel was caught off guard and let out a yelp of laughter.
Lea first looked at her friend surprised by her outburst and then burst into laughter herself. As soon as Rachel saw Lea laughing she continued her laughing binge.
Rachel never had the opportunity for such a laughing cleanse and it opened many passage ways for her in class.
She became a much more vibrant student always contributing and sharing her thoughts.
Rachel realized what she has to offer and felt safe in her classroom and skin.
She allowed her authentic self to shine through.
Rachel ultimately had a beautiful year and made many strides in the social and emotional aspect.
When Rachel realized she can be true to herself and authentic, things took a turn for the positive. Her acknowledged that her classroom is a safe space giving her room for growth and development.
When one allows themselves out of the cage they put themselves in many positive things can occur.
Self esteem grows along with compassion for others and understanding.