The ins and outs of building a relationship
Building a lasting relationship takes time and skill, yet is well worth the effort. When we invest wisely and we are focused on the steps of building a relationship right we will reap many benefits.
Knowing how to build relationships will take you far beyond the classroom and the walls of home.
Showing children how to do build relationships right will give them the skills to succeed in life and help set them up for school, college and the workforce.
Building relationships with the children in the classroom:
Children will mimic you and watch your behavior as the adult/teacher in the room. They will watch your every move. Make sure you are modeling correctly, for they will do as you do.
When you greet a parent or a student walking in late they will take notice, or if the maintenance person or the one whom delivers lunch walks in, how do you respond? How do you greet them?
What do you say when you meet someone new for the first time?
You can always let children know what to do but you got to do it yourself for them to try their hand at it.
Greet children daily to build a relationship with them:
If a teacher greets everyone whom comes into her classroom, children will notice and feel cared for. Does their teacher acknowledge them each and every morning? Does the teacher greet them as they leave for the day?
This will reinforce their relationship with their teacher.
Making it a point to greet each child in the morning will make them feel that they make a difference to their class and teacher. A teacher can do this when children walk in or by circle time, looking at each individual child and calling them by their name:” Good Morning, John, I am so happy to see you today.”
When a child leaves for the day it makes a big difference to greet them again and wish them a good day. This emphasizes the fact that the teacher acknowledged that they are leaving and have left an impression on the teacher: “Good Night, Michael, I was so happy you felt better and came to school today.”
Conversations power relationships:
When a child has a conversation with the teacher they feel that the teacher is acknowledging them and cares for them. The teacher made some time to talk to them.
In addition to small talk, questions build the relationship further. When the teacher asks a child a question, and shows interest in the child they feel important and cared for.
Relationships blossom with conversations, awareness and acknowledgement.
Lea was starting school, she had never been in school before and was quite nervous the first day. Teacher Jane noticed and told her it is OK to feel a bit sad and let her know what to expect that day.
Lea spent most of the day observing the teacher. However the next day Lea greeted her teacher. Teacher Jane responded with an enthusiastic “good morning” and asked Lea how her night was, although Lea did not respond she felt that her teacher cared about her well-being. She smiled and went to play. The third day her teacher greeted Lea once again with an enthusiastic “good morning” and said she is so happy to see her. Lea felt appreciated and acknowledged.
Later in the week a child wore the same dress Lea wore on Monday and the teacher pointed it out. Lea felt an instant connection to Kamilla and played with her the rest of the day. When Lea mentioned that her brother is having a birthday party later that day, the following day the teacher made sure to ask Lea how it went.
The time next week rolled around Lea went happily to school without looking back at her mom waving. This happened because Lea and her teacher built a strong relationship of caring and trust.
How to start building relationships right:
So you are meeting someone for the first time, now what?
- Start small by making small talk, have the person comfortable around you. Allow them to get to know you a bit.
2. Share something about yourself. You do not need to get very personal now, an interesting fact or tidbit is perfect.
3. Ask some questions- show genuine interest in who they are as a person. Be careful not to probe or ask something they may feel uncomfortable with. Ask a basic question that they can answer in many ways. Look at them as they answer.
4. Now make some connections, find common ground, this will create a sense of unity and trust, a feeling of I get you, we are alike or similar after all.
This helps take the relationship to the next level.
5. Compliment them about their interests.
Now you built the framework for a great relationship. Keep it open and keep going back to step 2-5. You will build a deeper and more meaningful relationship as you get to know each other better and build trust.
Relationships are meant to be treasured and watered with care, when you do just that you will allow it to blossom.
