How can you help your kids achieve, accomplish and succeed?

I can go on and on about what is important and what you can do. It certainly is a very lengthy discussion and something that can take days. However I would like to focus on one thing, allowing children to fail. Allow them to  try again and be there to cheer them on.

Why do I think that is important? From my experience I am finding that parents are afraid of hurting their children. Either hand holding them without allowing them to fail, while others allow their children to stumble without giving them guidance. It is important to be there as you watch your child take his or her first steps.

So what does this all mean?

Let your child learn how to do things on their own, allow them the taste of failure for success then will be much sweeter. Know, that failure is success.

They have a spelling test? They want to learn how to ride a bike? Be there for them for guidance and encouragement, however do not overwhelm them with your insights. Let them try to figure it out themselves. If they fail encourage them to try again, do not force them. If you will put pressure they will likely choose to give it up. They cannot handle your pressure and the pressure of failure. When you show them that failure is OK for they can learn from their mistakes, they will learn to be softer on themselves. You can show them how to learn from failure with a positive and confident attitude.

At times, a child will want to give up ( after your encouragement and feedback that they should try again) and that is OK. Do not make them feel bad that they did not accomplish their goal. When they will be ready to go for it again it will be with determination that they did not have before.

Your job as a mom or educator is to be there for your children, allow them to make mistakes.

It certainly is not easy watching children fail however the benefits will be long lasting.

At times, too much failure can hurt a child, so how do you know when it is too much? As a mom or teacher you know your child and his or hers frustration levels. Work with them. They might need direct guidance on how to accomplish their goals. Such as if they are studying for a test and are finding themselves overwhelmed and claiming they are dumb and stupid, point out to them what they do know. This can encourage them to continue studying. In addition, ask yourself how do they study best? What do they enjoy? Can that help them with their studying?

They failed a test? That happens. But what are the next steps? Where did they go wrong? Revisit the failure.

When a child is looking to learn how to ride a bike showing them the ropes is important, basic safety is important however if you see them getting frustrated give them time, do not push, encourage their progress. Show them that you care. It is OK to fall off a bike, you just need to stand up again.

Failure is Success:

When the children see you are OK with their failures and you show them how they can grow from failing they will learn to be OK with it as well. Children must know that if they failed once or twice or many many times it does not give them the permission to give up. They should still try again and again. ( they may needs breaks in between however it should be clear to them that you are not allowing them to give it up completely)

Many successes come from failure- learn to fail, you will learn to succeed.

Failure is success, in obscure packaging.

“I have not failed.  I have just found 10,000 ways that did not succeed”- Thomas Edison

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”– Winston Churchill

“Failure is the only opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely”- Henry Ford