What is your first response to your child’s behavior?
“You just spilled on the clean floor!” Whoa, wait a second, was that you yelling? It could have just about been any frustrated mom, dad or teacher!
Unfortunately, our initial response is usually the first emotion we feel when children did something we do not like.
“Stop fighting with your sibling or I will ground you both!” Sounds familiar, no?
Yes, it is our frustration that is talking. We really know it is not the right way to talk and talking/yelling like that would not get us the response we want. We want the kids to stop fighting. Yelling at them would either scare them in to listening without the feeling of love, care and affection you try so hard to radiate, or they will just ignore the screaming monster inside of you.
So, how can we change our go to response? Think about it, what is it you want them to do.
Lea, just spilled her sticky apple juice on the floor? You are upset and frustrated because the floor was clean? How about telling Lea, “Whoops, I see you spilled the apple juice on the clean floor, come let us take a rag to clean it up.”
With a calm response you accomplish:
- Happy child
- You get to fix the thing that irritated you ( a clean floor)
- You keep your relationship intact with your child, while helping them feel loved and secure.
- Teach responsibility for actions- clean up
- Teach about proper emotions- you spilled something? No need to whine for more juice, you may be upset or sad however all you got to do is ask for more.
It is not easy to respond without the yelling to a whiny, active, rambunctious child, yet the rewards are worth it.
When a child does something you do not like and you feel like yelling, walking away or taking a deep calming breath can help you handle the situation.