Tantrums are never fun, no one likes them or wants to deal with them. Learn how to stop tantrums before they can even think of taking place.
The start of the tantrum:
Lolly went to the store with her mother, as they were walking down the aisle she spotted a candy bar that seemed to be calling her name. When she asked her mom if they can buy it, her mom told her “No, it is before dinner and I do not want you to have any sweets now.”
Before her mom was able to turn around, Lolly was horizontal on the floor crying and kicking her feet. Mom’s immediate reaction was a burning hot face full of shame.
Yikes, no one wants to find themselves in such a predicament.
Lolly’s mom got the entire store turned around and focused on her screaming princess.
Now what?
How to Deal with Tantrums:
A tantrum is a strong emotion which the child is having difficulty expressing appropriately. It is not defiance or meant to “get back” at mom!
Lolly wanted the candy and did not know how to express that want! She did not know how to deal with the no.
How do most of us deal with tantrums?
- reassurance/ validation
- rationalization
- threaten
- yell
- coddle
- Give in to the demands
How to deal with tantrums the right way:
- Identify the emotion they are feeling- give it a name.
- Give them the skills needed to handle the emotion-also known as emotion regulation/self soothing skills ( relax, deep breathes)
- Problem solve -what should we do or move on once they calmed down
After a tantrums musts:
- Praise what they did right.
- Discuss what to do next time they feel such an emotion.
- At times consequences are necessary as a last resort
However really the best way to deal with tantrums is to prevent in the first place. Stop it before it can even begin.
How to be proactive when it come to tantrums:
- be clear with your expectations-children should know what you expect of them
- learn what your child reacts to
- consistency – they should know what to expect when ( bedtime, supper same time every time)
- help children transition smoothly by preparing them for changes
- give down time
- plan with a child what helps them calm down prior to an issue occurring
Do not allow tantrums to occur, nip them before they even begin to sprout.