Want to know what is going on with your child, yet not sure what it is?
You have a feeling something is going on and you cannot figure it out. Your child may not be acting him/herself and you want to know what is bothering them. Your child may not be very verbal or does not talk too much, however know that they are telling you something all the time.
You job is to understand what they are saying, when they are not talking.
There are verbal and nonverbal cues that let you in on what is going on in your child’s life.
How can I know what is going on?
- Behavior– is your child acting different?
Ask yourself- is there an unusual amount of misbehavior coming from the child?
- Emotional– is your child showing some fear or anxiety, not wanting to do a certain task, activity or job?
Are they any more sensitive than they usually are? More prone to tears?
- Physical-any bumps, scratches or bruises?
This can indicate bullying, fighting or unwanted touch.
- Descriptive– take a look at your child’s artwork or playtime.
Ask yourself is his/her artwork following a pattern, do I continuously see the same things that have not been there in the past?
What to do when you feel something is wrong with your child in school or at home:
- Speak to your child’s teacher or mom-they may have great insight on recent changes, transitions or happenings at home or in the classroom causing the behavior.
Rachel’s teacher noticed her drawings were getting smaller over time. She reached out to her mother to see if she would have additional information to share. Her mom was at first stumped but they went through the time when the drawings were changing and then Rachel’s mom remembered that it must be about the same time Rachel came home crying from school one day. It seems that the bus driver yelled at her. After working through her anxiety and discussing proper behavior on the school bus, Rachel’s drawings returned to their usual colorful descriptions.
2. Question the child in an unobtrusive way- such as: “I see you drew a daddy in the picture, where is the mommy?”
3. Play with your child, many time stories and difficulties that occurred during the day can come up through play.
Rachel seemed withdrawn and not as talkative as usual. He mom was concerned and unsure how to approach her. When she noticed Rachel playing with her doll, her mom asked her if she can join. “Only if you behave,” Rachel said. Her mom asked her what does she need to do in order to behave. Rachel responded, ” You need to listen to me all the time, if not you will not get to eat lunch.” Rachel’s mom was concerned about that statement and reached out to Rachel’s teacher. Rachel’s teacher explained that when the children come back in from playing outside, they all go wash their hands. Unfortunately, her terminology used made Rachel afraid that if they do not listen she will not get to eat.
It is important to take anything and everything into consideration. However sometime changes in a child’s behavior can be hormonal, lack of sleep, change in season or diet. Just being there for your child and in the know makes it better already.
What may scare one child may not frighten another, however being tuned into our child’s needs helps us build strong and trusting relationships with them.